how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
