it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
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Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
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Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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