im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
