I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
