and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
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