Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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