You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
