you have to choose: penises or morals?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
