I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize