he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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