If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize