remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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