so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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