You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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