Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
