giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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