I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
