just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize