billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
