onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
