You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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