I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
