I could have mohawked her pubes.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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