her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
