I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
