I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
