I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize