I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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