no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
