she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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