Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
