I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
