i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
