He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
