get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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