It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
