next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
