I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.