this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall