You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half