shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
and you fell through a lawn chair
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
