Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
