Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
