so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
