Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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