i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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