yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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