so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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