I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
