help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
