As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
