This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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