Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
