I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
