I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
