I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize