when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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