No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
