So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
no you cant smoke seaweed
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
