the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.