sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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