She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
