His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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