He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize