garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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