Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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