I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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